Sunday, September 9, 2012

Erika & Phil: What It's All About

Today is the 3 year anniversary of my dear friend Erika's wedding.  I was reminded of this piece that she wrote for the blog a while back, and I wanted to post it again for our new readers. Her attitude towards a wedding and marriage is invaluable. (Also, three years ago I didn't know Phil really well yet, but now that some time has passed and I've heard things about him through Erika, it makes me happy to report that he is everything she says he is. She chose well. Also, it makes me extra super dooper happy to report that these two are expecting a baby girl this winter!)


Soon after my dear friend Erika's wedding to Phil, I asked her if she wouldn't mind writing down her top three favorite moments of her wedding so I could blog about them. I got her email yesterday, and as I read it I was reminded again why this woman is one of my favorite people on earth, and why Phil is one of the luckiest men on earth. You can watch their Super 8 highlights below.

When Vanessa asked me to write a guest post about my top three favorite moments of my wedding day, I felt ecstatic and at ease, like I could just sit down and the words would tumble out with clarity, and I could effortlessly choose the top three moments.

Here’s where I struggle to choose just three: my wedding day was perfect. It rained. My bangs stuck to my forehead. We momentarily lost power right before I walked down the aisle (an old dirt road), so we almost had a ceremony with no music (the horror!). The cake was ugly. The lace on my dress ripped, right across the belly. Like I said, it was perfect. And here’s why.

I married a real man, one who knows how to love and cry and have fun, one who knows how to build furniture and fix things, one who knows how to encourage me and push me to be my best self, one who is creative and smart, one who will do whatever it takes to provide for me and our future family. I married a man who makes me laugh and makes me think and questions me when I’m wrong. I married a partner who understands that a partnership—a marriage—at its best, is about making each other better and more fulfilled.

That alone made the day perfect. How could anything, anything at all, put a damper on such a glorious occasion as committing to spend the rest of our good and bad days together?

It rained. We love the rain. Instead of crouching beneath umbrellas, everyone—all 13 of us—danced wildly into the night with the rain pouring down on our beautiful clothes.

My bangs stuck to my forehead. It doesn’t look pretty in pictures, but it reminds me of the humidity and helps take me right back to the feeling of the day.

We momentarily lost power right before I walked down the aisle. While my brother-in-law scrambled to repair the connection, it gave me a couple of moments to collect myself and my thoughts and be present in the moment, and an instant with my dear videographer friend who adjusted my veil and hair to make sure I would look beautiful when my dad presented me to my then-fiancé.

The cake was ugly, but it sure did taste good!

The lace on my designer dress got caught on my husband’s belt buckle as he twirled me around the dance floor, and it ripped, a big major rip, right across the belly of the dress. I had to leave the dance floor immediately and began to cry, but my dad and brother comforted me by saying, “You just ripped a dress you’re never going to wear again while you were dancing with your new HUSBAND,” which immediately put it in perspective. It’s now a story I can tell when my daughter and granddaughter gaze at my wedding dress, imagining their own fairy tale wedding days.

So none of these less-than-perfect aspects are my favorite moments, but all of them add to my memory of a completely perfect wedding day.

If I could tell all brides-to-be just one thing, it would be this: Amidst all the planning and any unfortunate circumstances, keep your focus where it should be—on the love that made the day possible, on the person you're going to marry, and on the choice you are both making to spend the rest of your lives together. After the guests have gone home, the chairs are folded, and the flowers are wilted, it’s the only thing that matters.

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Jessica said...

I Love this. As a bride preparing for our big day, it's nice to read things like this to bring me back to what's important. So far planning has gone well but I know things will happen that are out of my control and it's nice to read words from such wonderful ladies who haven't already been through this process. Thank you!

annajanine said...

love, love, love this, erika and v. what a wonderful story. all my best to you all!

Brandi Burkett said...

I think I'll print this and add it to my new client packet :)
Beautifully said.

Nicole said...

Erika is sooooooo right! Well said. Love it!

Lydia Covey, Harpist said...

Beautiful post. THIS is what a wedding is about. So many brides get caught up on the wedding and not the marriage which is the whole reason for the special day in the first place. Focusing on the beautiful union and all the love of a wedding day is what makes a wedding perfect. Erika obviously had the right focus for her wedding.
I love what was said about her torn dress. It is so true and a lovely perspective.

Thank you for helping brides focus on what is important.

Clarity Photography said...

Amazing and wise beyond her years... so glad you shared this. :)